07/05/19
Bright, misty morning. Nothing but white, white, white.
The air is heavy with them: these vast impenetrable clouds.
Sa Pa hidden below, mountain slopes lost above.
Peering into this nebulous void is like trying to see into the future:
all that is visible: that which is around me now,
and even that is impossibly indistinct at times.
These inscrutable clouds that move in from all around.
02-24-19
Coffee—nearly at last
A mustard-yellow wall
Spirals of razorwire atop it
In places it has crumbled away
With age, with the damp, with forgetfulness and neglect
It is like an old love, the glow of the setting sun on it all that is giving it warmth,
Illuminating it before it sinks into darkness
Coffee arrives and smells of strawberries and passion fruit.
It is a red and orange and purple and blue carpet spread beneath my nose
A garland of fruits and flowers hung about my neck
The air is still, silent
Ocassionally it quivers with the voice of an employee or guest, like a single plucked string of a guitar
[Enters loudly: steam from the espresso machine wand]
And suddenly a thought comes to me: why aren’t I meditating while I am here?
As I think about this cafe space as an isolated sphere of peace and serenity a child’s voice bursts in from a room in the rear
Bright and happy like a jelly bean, she skips through back to front and out the door, like a stone across a lake, leaving the surface calm and still after
The world undisturbed
As it was when I first arrived.
During the drive from Flagstaff to Santa Fe I stopped at El Malpais National Monument for a couple hours to explore La Ventana Arch.
Easy to get to, La Ventana is located along highway 117, about a beautiful, 20 minute drive south off Interstate 40. There is much more to see within the 114,000 acre monument and 263,000 acre conservation area, but as I had limited time, not wanting to arrive at my friend’s house in Santa Fe too late, I decided to just stick to the area around the arch where I could explore in as much detail as I liked.
La Ventana is the largest accessible natural arch in New Mexico, though I suppose it pales in comparison to many of those found in Utah. Nonetheless, it is still a stunning geologic formation in an awe-inspiring landscape.
El Malpais
La Ventana Arch
A wall like a man
Reclined, embalmed, entombed
Eternal
Like a mummy
Like a Buddha lying down
Replete in wisdom
Watching the world
Having watched the world
Forever
Having never lived and so never to die
Sees the life of Oasisamericans,
The invasion of the Spanish,
The death of the natives,
The force of belief in Manifest Destiny
What atrocities has this lord not seen?
What beauty has this lord not witnessed?
Judging not
Silently observing
Humphrey’s Peak right up there
With clouds tailing off
Dusted with snow like a cinnamon bun.
Flagstaff silent but for the crows,
Some traffic rolling along cracked and tar strapped asphalt
Breeze pushing yellow, green, yellow-green leaves along a sidewalk
Bluebirds bright, their song with joy
Happiness like a child’s reflection in an iced over pond.
Everything—
the very air
—crisp, crackling with energy.
Winter draws nearer.
The smell of old leaves,
Of dead leaves,
New soil,
Life.
Blue of autumn sky.
Glory, I say.
No?
Let’s try that again.
GLORRRY!
(and AMEN, as Henry Miller would say)
GLORY! says the bark of the sea lions from that yonder pointed rock, protruding sharply and hard-edged from the mouth of the cove that I’m overlooking from this rocky promontory.
GLORY! says the sun sunk behind the next island a few miles off, clouds rippling around its peaks loudly like streamers.
GLORY! says the sky, speckled with sun drenched clouds glowing heavily with summer’s honey-colored light even though the last week of October.
(soft streak of rose
petals and tulips
across the horizon
in one long painterly stroke)
This air is life itself — GLORY! — perfumed by the salty, aquamarine waters hundreds of feet below, crashing onto the shore, foamy-white.
And here I sit on the most luxurious rock, looking out at all this revelation.
I could be sitting on a pin cushion.
I discern no visible joy out there, only mystery and a raw primalness. But within, a sense of calm equilibrium and belonging.
I have merged with the salt-sea air, with the last remaining rays of the sun, with the wild, mangy bark of the sea lion.
I am no longer, as I once thought, just this flesh and bone but, I see now that I am this whole of nature.
This skin which contains me; which keeps me bundled up in this extraordinary body with its two legs and its two arms and a head which swivels this way and that, and a mind that thinks and creates divisions; this skin which contains me, which seems a boundary, is also contained within me. It is merely the surface of an ocean, the ground floor of an atmosphere.
It exists, but only in your mind.
So,
GLORY, I say!
GLORY & HALLELUJAH!
The sound of the rain
That countless chorus of voices
Each drop individual, different
But the same word sung—”LIFE”
Shouts the children in the street with giggling
They know the language well
Ah!, it has been so long since last I’ve experienced rain
Here, on the patio, in the dark I sit
Alone but for the company of the cat
The two of us listening, and smelling as we breathe in breathe out
Quietly—the children have gone
Inside (to supper, to games, to bed?)
The rain continues its chatter
Meaningless, but life-affirming
At first I couldn’t see the rain
Could only listen to its voice
Until a car pulled up
Headlights glancing off a window
And the drops of water stuck like glitter
Dazzling like the germs of stories in my head
Until the car pulled away
And this poem began
On the patio outside Bartavelle
I feel just like a dog—
Or just like my thought of how a dog feels—
Wild and free, not bound by a leash, or lassoed to a pole.
Not even a collar, what!
Just wild and free
Gazing into the void
A cacophony
but through the window
my vision sharply focused: PEACE.
Interpol dancing loudly on the stereo,
the ‘clank-clank!’ of dishes,
shouted announcement of prepared food: “Ling! Ling!”,
the rip-roar of a motorcycle in the parking lot,
a burst of steam from the espresso machine.
But outside, the wind tickling the trees tickling the sky white-streaked and blue.
There is a peace here maintained by staring out the window.
There is a joy here audible if one listens.
fruit, and cheeseboards, and books
lattes, and glasses of lemonade
on small, circular, wood-slat tables
bathe in the sun
reading books
reading phones
standing in line staring at bread
waiting for the line to move
salivating
the parking lot empty
the intersection full
the wind turns
the trees dance
children shout
wafting toast aroma flutters out the door
Sleeping faces
Nose-in-a-book faces
Enchanted by smartphone faces
Hidden-by-sunglasses faces
Laughing faces
Straight faces
Pale faces
Dark faces
Multicultural faces
Animated faces
Faces in repose
Faces in love
Profiles of faces
Children’s faces
Teen faces
Adult faces
A beautiful face directly across from me
Smooth and youthful faces
Pockmarked and wrinkled faces
Bearded faces
Clean-shaven faces
A tattooed face
Inquisitive faces
Concentrating faces
Looking and questioning faces
Apologetic faces
Weary faces
Calm faces
Sunlight through the windows on all of their faces faces
There’s an orange peel under one of the seats
And this train is hurtling along at incredible speed.
The Cosmological Eye 