Author Archives: S.A.H.

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About S.A.H.

Cycling. Espresso. Photography. Words. Travel. Aimlessness.

Gordon

Hi. This is Gordon. We met at a rest stop in the Sonoran Desert National Monument while I made a cup of coffee. He works at a nearby truck stop, travels via his bike (actually cycled here from Washington state), and sleeps out of doors. He seems to approve of his lifestyle, but also seems rather lonely, as he talked and asked a lot of questions of me. It’s the sort of thing one does when one lacks regular human interaction on a level beyond convenience store clerk.

I don’t remember a lot of what he said, partly because I have a poor memory for that sort of thing, but also because he seemed to ramble quite a bit, and talked just to talk (I don’t like talking just to talk). One constant topic of conversation, though, was illegal immigration and the border patrol. He didn’t have a stance on it as far as I could tell, but he just liked to talk about it a lot. It’s a thing that happens commonly enough in southern Arizona—illegal immigration that is. I should add also that there were a pair of shoes and an abandoned backpack beneath the picnic table we’re sitting at. These things prompted me to ask about them, and away we went. He said they were from illegals that had been picked up here by the patrol. A lot of times they just drop everything (not that they have much to begin with), though they’re allowed very little once they’re caught, anyway. He finds it can be nerve racking sometimes sleeping out at night when he does hear footsteps and the border patrol is everywhere (they like to hassle him a bit) and who knows what the demeanor of the nearby migrant(s) might be. But eventually I left, because it wasn’t in my plans to sleep at a rest stop with a man I barely knew, but also because I became no longer interested in hearing him talk.

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79 – Two Kinds of Desert

I left Brawley and drove east to Tucson, or nearabouts. The temperatures were in the 90’s and the landscape was dead, or if it wasn’t dead it was dying. Nothing but sand, and the road scoured clean from its blowing incessantly. Some gaunt, skeletal, shrubs, all looking very much stressed by their existence in this demanding environment. About thirty minutes east of Brawley are the Algodones Dunes. The highway splits the dunes into two parts; on the north side is the wilderness which is accessed by a dirt road on its eastern edge, and to the south is the recreation area which allows for dune buggies, dirt bikes, jeeps and anything else capable of taking on the waves of loose sand that are the dunes. Stopping at an overlook off of Hwy. 78, I was fascinated to watch the goings on: all these many and various motorized vehicles zooming and zipping up and over and atop these sand hills, across the landscape for miles around. It’s a form of recreation that doesn’t interest me to pursue myself, but seems quintessentially American, and so fascinates me from the standpoint of the purpose of my trip, which is to discover and photograph things symbolic or representational of America.

I stayed long enough until I felt like I saw all I needed to see and took enough photos to satisfy my curiosity and amazement at the area, before moving along to the wilderness area, which is why I came out all this way in the first place. Interestingly, I think I like the representational aspects of the dirt bikes and dune buggies—tiny specks some of them, like they are themselves mere grains of sand, in this enormous, stark landscape—more.

I was pleasantly surprised despite not hiking all the way to the dunes, which began a couple of miles from the dirt access road. Between these two places was a firmly packed sandy plain spotted with hardy, woody shrubs and bushes (skeletal and gaunt ones too), many of which were leafless and lifeless looking—sticks and twigs bundled together and stuck into the ground by some unseen hand—though many others were not, but were in fact quite sizeable, green even, and lush, which gradually became looser mounds, undulating and dune-like as I moved westward. Feeling the slight pressure of a schedule on my mind I unfortunately did not spend as much time as I would have liked in the dunes (nor walked as far), but I was happy to experience all that I was able in that short time, and to have seen and heard what little wildlife I did in such a vast, dry place. That wildlife included some sort of grasshopper, which was fairly numerous based on their soundings I heard, a Black-tailed jackrabbit, and a Zebra-tailed lizard, several of which I saw scurrying away from me, black and white striped tail erect like a flag. Additionally, I heard some sort of songbird (a sparrow likely) but didn’t see it. I’m going to post up some pictures below of these different places that share the same name and are only separated by a highway, yet are so very obviously different in their appearance and intent of use.

After fixing a flat tire with the help of a couple of nearby Border Patrol agents (my car apparently only came equipped with a jack, no bar for turning said jack, and also no wrench for removing the lugs from the wheel) I continued east where I would end up in Casa Grande in a room large enough to host a yoga class, at a cheap motel owned and recently renovated by Motel 6. In between the dunes and the motel were, strangely enough, a cotton field, corn field, as well as other crops being grown in of all places a desert. Truly baffling that in this extremely arid part of Arizona that there should be any sort of agriculture, but particularly cotton which requires copious amounts of water.

And then there is the Sonoran Desert, beautiful with its forests of Saguaro Cacti (and a sprinkling of a few other low growing shrubs), the only specks of green in this blackened, clay-colored monotony of small mountains and large hills, all jagged like broken teeth, bursting upward like tumors through the skin of the earth, like an inversion of a ragged wound torn into the flesh of an earthly body. Inhospitable. Violent. Primeval. Raw. A landscape of barbarism if there ever was one. I met a skinny, dirty, bearded man with a kind and inward looking countenance at a rest stop, though, where I thought to make a cup of coffee. It was a nice opportunity for a conversation with a fascinating individual, and a time to relax and soak in the landscape, instead of being locked in my car viewing everything through a windshield like watching a television screen, and appreciate it for what it is, which is something absolutely magical. A place where no life should exist, yet has sprung up. A place that no human should see and live to tell of it. Like going to the moon without a suit that preserves some form of atmosphere breathable, hospitable.

California

This batch of photos is from my drive down the coast of California, including a few pictures of the Henry Miller Memorial Library, various images in Big Sur, some photos of Santa Cruz Island, one of five islands that make up Channel Islands National Park, and the graffiti and date palms that I wrote about in my most recent post. Oh, and two images from Venice Beach. Enjoy.

78 – When I Should be Camping, but…

I stayed in Brawley the night that I left L.A., at a charming place run by an Indian gentleman: The Desert Inn. Only $40, immaculately clean, and with a mattress and pillows fit for a king. But besides all that, the guy stood with me a bit in the lobby —a tiny, fluorescent-lit, square room with a counter and desk; some maps and brochures—and listened to me speak about my trip, and then he told me about the road trips he’s taken his family on, and about his employer—the owner of the establishment. This man has been trying to sell the joint for years, decades even. I haven’t the slightest idea where he lives (I don’t think Mr. P knows either), though I don’t suppose it’s in town, or anywhere near it for that matter. Presumably he only works when his employee is away on vacation. Mr. P gets one month of vacation per year worked. He works around the clock, seven days a week. If he works two years without a break he gets two months off, and so on. At first glance the deal sounds alright, until one considers that with a regular two days off a week over the course of a year he would have acquired more time off that way than through his current deal. On the other hand, the job is obviously not terribly demanding, he gets to spend plenty of time with his family, and has the opportunity to leave for an entire month to do with that time as he will (in his case take the family on road trips around the country—they traveled over 11,000 miles last year on one excursion!—thus earning his children an excellent education beyond that of their general schooling). Clearly he feels any positives outweigh the negatives, and so it is an opportunity not to be passed up.

During the course of our conversation he made some recommendations, unnecessarily, of things to do in the area, places to visit, etc. He seemed to have no sense of direction though, pointing me towards a town north, from where I came, when I said I was going east, and then telling me the dunes I planned to visit were out of my way despite that they flanked both sides of the highway I would take out of town. Besides all that nonsense, it was a joy chatting and getting a feel for the town and this man’s life. The whole room smelled of Indian cooking, and at one point his son, of perhaps eight or nine years, came out from the door beyond and hung sheepishly on his father’s arm, alternating looking at the ground and up at his father.

When I left Los Angeles I had every intention in the world to visit Joshua Tree, though mainly just to run, but the gloomy, overcast weather put a damper on any enthusiasm I might have had the night before (always when I am most enthusiastic about running). It also didn’t help at all that I spent almost two hours at Go Get ‘Em Tiger when I had only planned to grab an espresso and maybe a snack to go. And yet, despite regularly disappointing myself by lingering over small joys in potential neglect of other planned events, and also in regards to my constantly fluctuating enthusiasm for running, much good always seems to come my way. No decision ever seems to matter.

So, having bypassed Joshua tree, I stopped near the Salton Sea at a medjool date farm instead (this is a region that produces a huge number of these sweets), adjacent to a fascinating, mountainous pile of boulders a city block long, a number of which were covered in graffiti, resulting in some pleasing photographs. Tucked in amongst these boulders, at one end of this ant hill, was a memorial to someone, complete with rows of candles and a statue of the Virgin Mary draped in rosaries, her head split in half and the piece of rebar poking up through her neck like the figure of a spinal column. I was only about an hour or so north of Brawley at this point, and the sun was dropping below the mountains to the west lighting up the sky in that direction like a fire cracker; and eastward the still, mirror-like surface of the Salton Sea—a sliver of silvery-blue glass lodged in a landscape of golden sand—clouds slowly scudding across the sky. One disappointment always seems to beget a joy. Why even bother to be disappointed at all? Knowing this you would think I would feel accordingly, and yet….

77 – Certain Places in L.A. Just Suck You in and Don’t Let You Go

Attempting to leave L.A. for parts unknown. Impossible though. Swamped under by my attendant’s generosity at Go Get’Em Tiger. After buying the first of two drinks brings over a third, c’est cadeau. So now I’m just sitting here. Read a bit more of the Miller-Durrell correspondence. Sadly, nearly through. Talk with my attendant… I don’t exactly know what to refer to him as. Doesn’t make the drinks so technically not a barista. It’s really very unimportant. I wonder if I have a parking ticket*… Anyway, still need to get to Home Depot for denatured alcohol, then on to Joshua Tree for a run. And then? No idea where I’ll be sleeping tonight. Wal-Mart parking lot near Joshua Tree, or at the Algodones Dunes (or nearby Brawley).

Back to G.G.E.T., what an inspiration of a place! Exactly as I’ve wanted to run a cafe for years: counter service, very much like a diner, but more modernly designed and decorated with an attention to detail and quality that isn’t found in diners, traditionally. Long and narrow space with a poured concrete floor, white walls and curved red lamps leaning from them, gazing over individual high tables opposite the standing-room-only counter. Red accents, natural, light wood, and a lovely, sizable nook in a bright, windowed space up front with room for multiple people. The place is obviously a strong community hub, and the employees are the fulcrum upon which all this turns: outstanding! Willing to engage in conversation, beyond welcoming, great recommendations (easy when everything is likely so damn good, though). Use of iPads by the roaming attendants is tremendously smart, streamlining service and making ordering a breeze. It makes for an easier time funneling traffic, and keeps from a long register line forming. Do go there if you’re ever in the city (or if you’re a resident and haven’t yet discovered the place).

*I did. $63 for going over the meter, but when’s the next time I’ll be in California with that car and New Mexico tags?

GLORY! (or Santa Cruz Island)

Glory, I say.

No?
Let’s try that again.

GLORRRY!
(and AMEN, as Henry Miller would say)

GLORY! says the bark of the sea lions from that yonder pointed rock, protruding sharply and hard-edged from the mouth of the cove that I’m overlooking from this rocky promontory.
GLORY! says the sun sunk behind the next island a few miles off, clouds rippling around its peaks loudly like streamers.
GLORY! says the sky, speckled with sun drenched clouds glowing heavily with summer’s honey-colored light even though the last week of October.

(soft streak of rose
petals and tulips
across the horizon
in one long painterly stroke)

This air is life itself — GLORY! — perfumed by the salty, aquamarine waters hundreds of feet below, crashing onto the shore, foamy-white.

And here I sit on the most luxurious rock, looking out at all this revelation.
I could be sitting on a pin cushion.

I discern no visible joy out there, only mystery and a raw primalness. But within, a sense of calm equilibrium and belonging.

I have merged with the salt-sea air, with the last remaining rays of the sun, with the wild, mangy bark of the sea lion.
I am no longer, as I once thought, just this flesh and bone but, I see now that I am this whole of nature.
This skin which contains me; which keeps me bundled up in this extraordinary body with its two legs and its two arms and a head which swivels this way and that, and a mind that thinks and creates divisions; this skin which contains me, which seems a boundary, is also contained within me. It is merely the surface of an ocean, the ground floor of an atmosphere.

It exists, but only in your mind.

So,
GLORY, I say!
GLORY & HALLELUJAH!

76 – Some Santa Cruz Island

Returned from my first hike traipsing back across the island through the crisp, dry grass and reedy plants, sans knit hat, sweating and all, like a blithering idiot to the new water reservoir I bought only the day before yesterday, clawed up, off the picnic table, in the dirt and with a small hole in a corner, most of the contents leaked out (too curious foxes!), after dark of course, as I had enjoyed a magnificent sunset on the opposite side of the island.

It all leaves a bitter taste in one’s mouth, after experiencing something of the first order of perfection. These were images of an Italian or Grecian coastline, such as one might find in a magazine or an Instagram (and no cliff-side homes, nor a human for hundreds of meters all around), I was observing, but in actuality, with the crashing of the waves below and the barking of sea lions beyond, the wind on my face and the sky glowing like a picture postcard. Unfortunately, the resultant discovery of my favorite (read: only) knit hat (an expensive one at that) to be gone from my person, and the ensuing tumble across the island after sunset in hopes of finding it—an impossible attempt, mind you, since I wandered rather through the back country instead of following the main trail, and thus had no distinct path to follow—has me feeling somewhat morose. And the not-quite-comfortably-long-enough stick I resorted to using to prop up the entrance to my tent because I don’t have trekking poles or a front support pole and there was nothing for me to tie the guyline to like I normally would. Well, that’s the life of the ever not quite properly prepared! Tomorrow I may search again before departing, but more importantly must go for a run!


Went for a marvelous run this morning before needing to break camp. Followed the trail I took last night and found my cap which I had thought lost. Just goes to show ya. Course it has a couple large holes in it now, and much of the edge is chewed up. Souvenirs, I suppose! Anyway, the run topped off at one of several peaks in the area. Could see over quite a vast area—the island goes on and on, ridges and valleys like a set of ribs, caves and bays, tiny islands (rocks, really) smothered with birds and bird shit, the vague horizon a smudged line. Speaking of horizons, amazing how far one can see on a clear day; Cali mainland in the distance. Santa Ynez mountains mysterious and cloud hidden and blue. Cormorants fishing in the jewel-like water. Girl sunbathing on a distant bench. Two more sitting in the shade of a seaside cliff subsumed with the rocks and boulders into its shadow. And a man walking along the stony beach with his camera.

About to take a snooze on a picnic bench before the boat picks us up. Slept poorly last night. Kayakers returning from an excursion exploring the arched caves and passages the ocean has carved over the eternity of its existence. Something to do if ever I get back here.

How to Write a Poem

The sound of the rain
That countless chorus of voices
Each drop individual, different
But the same word sung—”LIFE”
Shouts the children in the street with giggling
They know the language well

Ah!, it has been so long since last I’ve experienced rain
Here, on the patio, in the dark I sit
Alone but for the company of the cat
The two of us listening, and smelling as we breathe in breathe out
Quietly—the children have gone
Inside (to supper, to games, to bed?)
The rain continues its chatter
Meaningless, but life-affirming

At first I couldn’t see the rain
Could only listen to its voice
Until a car pulled up
Headlights glancing off a window
And the drops of water stuck like glitter
Dazzling like the germs of stories in my head
Until the car pulled away
And this poem began

Bartavelle is Always On

A cacophony
but through the window
my vision sharply focused: PEACE.

Interpol dancing loudly on the stereo,
the ‘clank-clank!’ of dishes,
shouted announcement of prepared food: “Ling! Ling!”,
the rip-roar of a motorcycle in the parking lot,
a burst of steam from the espresso machine.

But outside, the wind tickling the trees tickling the sky white-streaked and blue.

There is a peace here maintained by staring out the window.

There is a joy here audible if one listens.